You could go to the cemetery page and put in a request for someone out there to take a photo of your family graves. Give the request enough details so they can be sure of the right graves. Sometimes a person will go to fulfill a photo request and end up doing the whole cemetery if it is small enough.
Worth a try, since you lilve so far away.
As for the search, with the new system on the nmap page, I have found that less is better. I put in Chester and Iowa and those two popped up. Often if you just put in the county and state, it works better than if you enter a town name.